Regretted Promises

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"You gotta promise, okay?"
I kept that promise, okay?
Are you better now, Jay?
I kept that promise, okay?

Cuts, scars, bruises, some bones broken.
None of them were self-inflicted.
Man, Jay,I thought you were jokin'.
The whole time I felt conflicted.
How could a father be so wicked?

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"You gotta promise, okay?"
I kept that promise, okay?
I didn't tell anyone, Jay.
I kept that promise, okay?

Cop cars with medics, running in your home.
I wish you didn't make me promise.
Cause I regretted it as I watched your mother roam.
Over to your body she went, to leave a kiss.
Dear god if only someone else had known.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"You gotta promise, okay?"
I kept that promise, okay?
But look where you're at now, Jay.
Was keeping that promise, okay?

Now I'm sitting at your funeral.
Regretting the simple promise I made.
While miles away your father gets no chance of parole.
I look at you, and the price you paid.
If only I could have told.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"You gotta promise,...okay?"
I kept that promise, Jay..
I don't know what else to say..

I know life isn't perfect, I am not either, I wish i could find some place of peace.Where there is no one. A perfect place. Sometimes I don't mean to say or do things, but I do or say them anyways. Sometimes people don't understand. The human is a species that no scientists can explain, I know this to be true because I cant be explained. I've questioned life, but somehow life is good, yet it seems impossible. I love life. I love the people in my life. I love the way the grass feels on my feet, yet I dont understand why i have the sensation. Maybe I take advantage of grass..and the way it feels, maybe I don't. Maybe the grass takes advantage the warmth of my feet. I don't know, all I know is that I'm not perfect..neither is life. I wish there was a place that was. -Catrina